he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Randomize
