so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Alive.
So much puke
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Randomize
