Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
