party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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