My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
i will never coherently bang her
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Houston, we have a squirter
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
