its not stalking. its research.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
