Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
