At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize