Need sex. Gaining weight.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
