apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
