doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Randomize
