I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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