I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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