if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
