I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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