like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
