These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
where are my eyebrows?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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