My balls are so social today.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
