i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
My life is pants optional.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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