I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
