I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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