Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
