In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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