Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Randomize
