My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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