Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
