Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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