i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
