I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Randomize
