check it out our google latitudes are spooning
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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