Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
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