i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
why do cheetos always look like penises
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
