We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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