office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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