did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
