peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
