A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
i just made my gag reflex go away.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
