hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
