You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
