would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
My orgasm happened in two different decades
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
