your room smells of hookers.
And success
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Randomize
