miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
