I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
