Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
