Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
