the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I am available for nakedness
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
