So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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