im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
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