i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
