I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
