I can't watch pbs sober anymore
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
