How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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