that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
