My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize