dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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