Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
